Here Comes the Guest List…

If there’s one thing that causes more stress to a Sri Lankan bride than dealing with everyone lecturing her on what her special day should be like, it’s the challenge of seating them all in a single space.

Let’s face it, with Sri Lankan wedding guests comes plenty of drama. With the kind of family numbers that our native weddings bring in, someone’s invariably not wiling to sit next to someone else and you don’t want to be responsible for creating future dinnertime stories on your day of joy.

Then there are the friends and colleagues, each with their own sets of politics and preferences. Deciding how and where to place your wedding guests can at first seem like an overwhelming task. As much as the simplest solution may seem to be not having a seating arrangement at all, nine times out of ten letting your guests seat themselves would probably just create a chaotic free-for-all and some awkward isolations, so that’s really not the best idea to begin with. You do, after all, want to ensure that everyone is comfortable and happy on your big day.

Having a table number to guide them provides a comfort to your guests, demonstrating that you have made the effort to think about them. It also gives you the freedom to place them according to your convenience, making sure those aunty-spats don’t ruin the event.

Here are a few tips to help you develop a proper, well-coordinated seating plan can only create a smoother wedding that’s easy on both you and them.

• Get a Head Start

Start putting your seating plan together as soon as possible to avoid too much stress, without waiting for all the RSVPs to come in. You can always edit your seating plan closer to the day, but plan ahead so that you don’t have to stress closer to the day about your seating, along with all the other important things you need to take care of. Make sure you start finalizing at least two months before.

• Survey your Space

Keep the capacity of your chosen venue in mind at all times, taking into account the size and shape of the tables available. You don’t want to have to pack everyone close together like uncomfortable sardines! Start with a drawing of the table plan that you can get from your venue.

• Who is Where?

You can choose to assign seats either as tables only and let the guests choose the seat (works well for large weddings) at the table or assign the table and the chair with a name card (better for smaller gatherings).

When decided on the table placements, as yourself the following-

• How frequently would the bridal couple need the guests?
• How closely related are they to the bride and groom?
• Do they have food or drink preference? (Boozy uncles near the bar is always a good idea!)

• The Grouping Game

Grouping families together is the most time-saving method of arranging seats. Families would normally arrive together, which makes it convenient for all. When it comes to friends, keep things interesting so that people also mingle and get to know each other by finding a balance in the seating mix, taking into account your guests’ ages and interests.

• Break the Big Families

There are many ways of arranging tables in a wedding venue- 10 people is a round table is the most common in Sri Lanka. Most of the time some families will not have enough room to sit together. To handle such situations, you can put adults and children/cousins separately, but don’t forget to place them close by.

• Connect your Friends

Now that you two are one, so are your tribes. You can put groom’s friends and bride’s friends together by introducing some mutual friends that both parties know. Try your best to keep other couples together at the same table without separating them. To avoid the awkwardness for single invitees, either allow them to bring a plus one or seat them at tables with other singles.

• The Battle of the Sexes

Even though Sri Lankans are notoriously good at segregating themselves into gender cliques, try to make sure all tables have an even number of men and women so you get a good mix of conversation.

• Who needs Access?

Be considerate of everyone’s needs. Older guests, pregnant guests or those with physical/health challenges may appreciate being seated in open areas close to food and toilet facilities instead of having a lot of navigating to do in order to get around.

• Seat the suppliers

Group your vendor crews – photographers, videographers, band musicians, etc. together where they can have their privacy and easy access to their areas of work.

• Seat Yourself

You may suddenly remember that in all the stress of trying to seat your wedding guests, you almost forgot to seat yourselves and your bridal retinue! You can either opt for a raised head table or give yourselves a special VIP table in the midst of your guests, close to where you will be performing your wedding traditions.

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